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T he funny thing was, we had been talking about rotten herring in the car. After more than a year though, it becomes somewhat unstable.
Ashen-faced friends Manning Linkoping recalled traumatic detonations that showered them with a hazardous fallout whose after-stench had proved impossible to remove. But all the toourism Mathias knew what we would be having for lunch — because he had planned it. He comes home a couple of times a year. Wow, it was big!
Of course, it's not quite the same today. Massage in Borlange somerset like, when I was really small, say two or three, my mum would take me into the forest to a very big rock. To me, that rock was the top of the world. Now I have my restaurants in Stockholm and when I come home, that rock in the forest is smaller and smaller.
We drove mUea frozen forest roads, passing the farm where Mathias grew up. He's a bulky man in his mids, with that permanent air of being a bit knackered that all the best chefs. We were meeting Eva-Lisa Myntti, an improbably glamorous reindeer herder.
Eva and her Sami husband "sacrifice" a few reindeer every year, selling the meat fresh or cold-smoked reindear. When you fry it, it smells West Akersberga girls like French cheese. Looking back, I realise that his enthusiasm for game packed in snow in a hut in the wilderness and left to thaw and refreeze several times during the winter so that it ends up "cheesy" should have rung warning bells.
Anyway, all was going well until I made the mistake of asking Eva-Lise how many reindeer she. There was a silence. The mood soon thawed, and we continued our search along ever more remote, frozen forest paths, but to no avail. No reindeer did we spy that day … though we did see a couple of camels. There were also the architecture students who were testing a "vision distortion device" VDD outside their House for lease Nassjo next evening: They showed me blurry photos they had taken from within the VDD in the town's new shopping mall, called Utopia.
Not weird enough? How about this: And then there was the Sex in Umea tourism surprising Umedalen sculpture park in the grounds of a former mental asylum.
The curator, Stefan Andersson, drove me around pointing out an Antony Gormley here, a Louise Bourgeois or Anish Kapoor there and, my favourite, some subtly subverted Swedish road signs.
One of them, in the style of a motorway emergency phone number, instead featured the number of its artist, Mikael Richter.
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I dialled it and, to my joy, Richter, who was in Stockholm, answered after two rings. Andersson told me the sculptures had been donated by the local property firm, Balticgruppen, owned by Lesbian bars in Norrtalje multimillionaire, Krister Olsson.
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